Love stories begin in different ways. For example, with a bright spark that is impossible to miss. In such cases, the answer to the question “Love or not love?” is obvious. By the way if you are not in love yet, but would like to find your love, the christian online dating site can help you with this.
But there is another option. You are attracted to the person, want to spend more time with him or her, and you begin to fall in love. But how does he or she feel? It’s unclear.
Sometimes a person gives mixed signals: today – flirting and smiling, tomorrow – indifferent. And sometimes you can’t figure out if his or her reactions are a manifestation of love. No wonder that in such circumstances, it is scary to take the initiative. However, this is not the only reason that may prevent you from being the first to confess your feelings.
Why are we afraid to make the first move?
We all admire people who express their emotions and experiences rather than silencing them. Because it requires not only courage but also unwavering self-confidence. The same goes for romantic confessions.
We may fear being rejected, being laughed at, and our feelings being treated carelessly, and that hurts. If it doesn’t work out, how will I deal with it later? So sometimes we choose to just give up on the experience if there is a risk that it will be negative.
This fear is not pointless at all. According to one small study, when we are rejected, the same areas in our brains are activated as in physical pain. You might say we avoid rejection by following the same self-preservation instinct that prevents us from grabbing a red-hot frying pan with our bare hands.
However, when it comes to feelings, that doesn’t mean giving in to fear. If you want to challenge and defeat it to make that first move, in the end, try starting with a few simple tricks.
How do you act when you’re not sure about the other person’s feelings?
If the person is giving you signals, but you’re not sure if they mean mutual sympathy
Sometimes hints and non-verbal signs can be quite difficult to unravel, even if they are constant. Did she call me for a friend quiz because she wants to spend time with me or because I’m good at the subject? Does he constantly smile when he meets me because he likes me or because that’s his way of talking to everyone? What if all of these signs of mutual sympathy only exist in my head?
I wish I could give some kind of instruction on what to do in order to understand everything “on the shore,” but unfortunately, there are no such instructions. Lists of “she twirls a lock of hair and therefore loves you” have nothing to do with life.
What can you do? Wait for moments when it’s clear to you whether it’s a crush or a love, and think about how you even understand it. Or try broadcasting your feelings in words and actions and see how the situation plays out.
If you want to be more proactive, try probing the ground in the following ways:
Ask exciting questions more often. For example, “What was your favorite activity as a child?” or “What can’t you imagine your day without?” This will take communication to the next level, get to know each other better, and closely follow how the other person reacts to you and what you say.
Give your phone number casually. For example, recommend a movie or book and then say, “We can exchange phone numbers or add each other on social media. It would be very interesting to hear what you think after watching (reading).”
Invite the person to a meeting or party where a large group will gather. This is much easier than inviting a one-on-one date. And if the object of your affection will try to spend all the time with you even among the crowds – most likely your feelings are mutual.
If all your efforts were not successful, do not get upset. This does not mean that you are a terrible person who will never build a romantic relationship, so it is not worth trying anymore. You can be the most delicious peach, and someone might not like peaches.