Love – a four-letter word that means so much happiness and contentment yet can also mean so much loss and heartache. Ask any married person and they’ll tell you marriage is never easy, but it sure is worth it!
‘What makes it so worth it?’, you might wonder. Good marriages are created and flourish through endless devotion from both parties and hard work. Regardless of the state of your marriage, any couple can benefit from marriage counselling Melbourne experts say. In this article, we’ll discuss why.
Marriage Counselling Explained
Also known as couples therapy Melbourne couples can surely improve their marriages by using this type of therapy. Counselling or therapy is not only for the “troubled” parties, and receiving therapy does surely not mean you’re failing. In fact, counselling is a good safeguard against life’s challenges.
Society has created a concept of what marriages should be like, and why and when you should or shouldn’t get married. However, with these concepts of the ‘whens’ and the ‘whys’, there are also some expectations of what marriages are or should be.
There are several approaches, and each therapist is different from the next. However, there are common themes. During therapy, everyone is counselled to communicate openly, identify underlying problems, and discuss differences with the help of a neutral mediator. Of course, it does not end here, and counselling is not a magic cure for any marital problems. Couples need to work on their marriage day after day to create the relationship they desire.
Common Marriage Problems
Marriage counselling or therapy is not only for marriages that are critical but also for flourishing ones. However, if you’re considering counselling because you suspect there are problems, you might wonder when it’s time to take the first step.
Signs that you need marriage counselling include lack of communication, living separate lives and a lack of sexual intimacy. This often follows common marital problems such as financial stress, infidelity, or boredom. If you can relate to any of these, it’s advised to seek counselling.
Four Benefits of Marriage Counselling
The most important outcome of counselling is the reduction of stress or complaints between partners. Being able to communicate effectively is half the battle won. There are several other benefits of marriage counselling which we’ll discuss here.
Improved Communication Between Couples
Basic communication skills are part of anyone’s survival kit, but it’s especially important in marriages. As life happens, we tend to expect our partners to be mind readers and know what we want or feel. This can cause feelings of disappointment, as no one can know what someone else is feeling without positive communication.
Establishing effective ways to communicate with your partner can save both parties a lot of frustration. During therapy, couples will be encouraged to both listen actively and speak openly, without offending their partner or taking offence.
Resolving Conflict Effectively
No matter what number of therapy sessions you sign up for, conflict is inevitable. That’s why it’s important to have a toolkit to help you resolve these issues in a positive manner. When couples learn to listen to understand, and not to listen to respond, conflict can be identified and resolved before it gets out of hand.
Troubleshooting is vital to ensure you’re steering the boat in the same direction and not working against each other. Many therapists offer science-based tools to help you turn conflict into shared problem-solving with a positive outcome for both parties.
Overcome Unresolved Problems
Everyone will have baggage they bring into a relationship. Whether it’s from childhood trauma or previous relationships, it’s advantageous to have someone to help you unpack and heal. This can be hard without a third party who can remain objective and assist with trained skills.
This is where therapy offers an excellent safe place to express emotions and concerns. Not only will this help you resolve individual issues, but also learn more about each other as a couple and overcome other hurdles more effectively.
Build Trust and Increase Intimacy
Often people tend to think intimacy is about sex and what happens inside the bedroom. Truth be told, intimacy starts outside the bedroom. Without a strong bond and a mutual feeling of safety and trust, sex is unlikely to follow.
There are several things that can help a couple build trust and strengthen the feeling of closeness and connection, such as:
- Sharing experiences
- Words of encouragement
- Physical touch
- Endless forgiveness
During therapy sessions, you can prove to each other that you’re worth trusting.
Conclusion
Marriages and intimate relationships are crucial for your well-being and mental health. Having a safe place to return to when life gets rough, is a human desire. Maintaining a safe place is where the hard work starts.
Therapy is more than meets the eye, and something every couple should consider at least once during their relationship. By choosing the right professional and allowing them to guide you, your relationship can go from strength to strength.
Therapy offers a wealth of tools not only to use in your intimate relationships but also in your daily life—wherever communication is key. Going for therapy doesn’t mean you have failed but rather that you’re being smart about managing the realities of life.
