So the time has come and you’re ready to propose. Some guys get very anxious about it, while others patiently wait for this very special moment. For some of you, it’s a step that will change your life forever. For others, it’s a fantasy as you haven’t even started dating.
But what you both have in common is asking her dad first. Much like asking permission to date, you have to ask her date for permission to marry her. If you’re anxious, nervous, or downright scared, here is how to ask her dad for permission to marry her.
Make Sure She’s Happy
You can’t marry her if she’s not happy. Not only will she turn you down, but so will her father. Fathers and daughters are very close to one another. You might think that she talks with her mom about her relationships, but the opposite is true for some. If she isn’t happy, her father will know about it. So what you’ll be doing is getting a lecture from her father when you go and ask for permission.
The first tip and the first step is not to ask permission, but to make sure that she is happy with you.
Write the Speach
By this point, you’ve gotten very close to her father. You watch MLS games together, talk about cars, and probably went on a fishing trip together. You’ve also held millions of conversations by now. But asking for permission is very different from watching the LA derby. As such, you’ll need to prepare a short speech. We don’t mean anything fancy, but you don’t want to stutter and be lost for words, do you?
You want to impress him by showing him how much you love his daughter and want to take her hand in marriage. As such, awake the writer in you and start working on a short speech that will make him proud.
Take Him Someplace Special
As your father-in-law, location is key when asking for permission. You don’t want to take him to a bar during the next home game, but someplace special. That’s not to say you should make it special like your first date, but you have to treat him with respect. And what better way to do that than to take him somewhere that both of you like. If both of you have a common hobby or interest, make it the location where you’ll be asking for his permission. Take fishing for example. If fishing is his thing, go for a fishing trip on Lake Michigan or any other lake that’s close to home.
Even if you don’t share his hobby or interest, it’s important to treat him with the respect he deserves. Not only will he appreciate the courtesy, but you’ll bond like never before. With that said, you’ll also hold the conversation man-to-man.
Be Professional
Treat her father like you would a potential business partner. While you shouldn’t flatter him to the point of making it uncomfortable, saying a few complimentary words about his daughter will, by extension, act as a compliment about him. Saying nice things about her relates to how well he raised her. But not only that, be professional.
Even if you aren’t the guy who wants to make a big fuzzy speech, acting professional will help you get through it. We know that plenty of guys and dads don’t really like sharing their feelings. So if he’s the sort of person that doesn’t like compliments, at least be professional.
Make Him A Promise
No father wants his daughter to be treated poorly. A hand in marriage, for some families, means a lifetime bond. So he doesn’t want his daughter to end up divorced and without kids in the future. To negate his fears, you need to reassure him that it will never happen. Make a promise that you will treat her like a queen and that no harm will come her way.
Be Ready To Answer Some Questions
It’s common for dads to be apprehensive when someone asks the big question. After all, someone will be taking her away from home and he won’t be there to take care of her in times of need. So it’s fairly common for him to ask you a few questions before giving you the green light. Stuff like family planning, how to support, and long-term plans are by far his biggest concerns.
So think long and hard about these questions. Do you have a stable job with plenty of opportunities, or are you stuck in the mud? You can’t marry her if you’re not financially ready. This is a big mistake that many overlook. They think that love prevails. But what good is love when you can’t put food on the table? So if you find yourself in this situation, it’s better to bide your time and instead work on improving your finances.
If You Can’t Ask Her Father, Apply the Same Tips For Her Mother
Sadly, for some of you, her dad isn’t alive anymore. This puts you in a very difficult situation. Most will say that it’s easier to ask her mom for permission than it is for her dad. And that might well be true. But since her father is no longer alive, her mom will want further assurances that you’ll be there for her for better or worse. Regardless, you need to apply these same tips if you want her mom to permit you.
It’s also common to ask her step-dad or the closest family member, such as her brother or uncle for permission.
